You might assume that life at a prison camp is mild compared to higher security facilities—and you’d be right, to a degree. There are no fences here, and most of us are considered “low risk.” But what I didn’t expect was the diversity—not just in background or race, but in personalities, histories, and yes, even behaviors.
When I got here, I imagined the camp would be mostly guys like me—white collar criminals: fraud, embezzlement, maybe some crypto-related stuff. In reality, we make up maybe 20% of the population. The rest are people who’ve come from long journeys through the system. Camp is their final stop before release. So, you get a little bit of everything in terms of life stories and, well…quirks.
Here are three of the most memorable characters I’ve met so far. Names and details have been changed for privacy.
Jerome – Strength, Stillness, and a Shocking Past
Jerome is a solid, quiet guy in his 40s, built like a linebacker. He’s the kind of man you wouldn’t want to fight—but also not someone you’d expect trouble from. That changed during one of our RDAP (drug treatment) classes.
Each day, someone shares the “word of the day” and connects it to their personal journey. Jerome picked the word insanity, quoting the classic line: “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
I braced for something like, “I kept selling drugs thinking I wouldn’t get caught.” But instead, he said:
“I’ve been down almost ten years. When I first got in, I used to rub feces all over myself and throw it at the guards. I spent three years in the SHU for that. But I didn’t stop until I realized it wasn’t helping me—it wasn’t a life.”
There are very few moments in prison when you’re left speechless. That was one of them. I can’t imagine the mental and emotional place he must have been in to do that—and yet here he is now, calm, focused, and present. It’s a reminder of the depth of pain some people are carrying—and the long road it takes to heal.
Billy – Tattoos, Teeth, and Love
Billy is a 50-something white guy who checks every “prison stereotype” box:
- Over 30 tattoos, including on his face
- A top-of-the-head ponytail sprouting from an otherwise shaved scalp
- Meth mouth—you can count his remaining teeth on one hand
He sits next to me in RDAP and, to be fair, he’s a decent guy when sober. He is definitely better at some things than I am, such as picking a spouse. He loves his wife. He talks about her constantly—how she visits him, how much she supports him, how he’s trying to turn his life around for her and their kids.
One day he missed class for a dentist appointment. My bunkie joked that he only had a few teeth left to lose anyway. When Billy returned later that day, we asked how it went.
He grinned (gummed?) and said, “I told them to take them all out. I was sick of the pain.”
That would’ve been the weirdest part—until we asked what his wife thought. He beamed and said:
“She’s real excited. She can’t wait for me to get home and gum her p****.”
Yeah… that image was disturbing enough. But later, my bunkie ran into him shirtless in the dorm. Billy locked eyes, rubbed his nipple, and licked his gums while saying, “She can’t wait to see this.”
My bunkie may never recover. 😂
Roger – The Tattletale Lawyer
Roger is a 50-ish, scrawny ex-lawyer who acts like he’s still in middle school trying to impress the teacher. He hangs around the guards, tattles on anyone who breaks even minor rules, and somehow thinks this will earn him favor.
It doesn’t. Even the guards are annoyed.
In just one month, Roger has sent four inmates to the SHU and caused another to lose his halfway house placement. That guy was caught meeting his family at the bus station—technically against the rules, but something most guards turn a blind eye to. But with a formal complaint filed by Roger (who’s now a town driver), the staff had no choice but to act.
Now that inmate will spend the last six months of his sentence back at a medium-security facility instead of home. Thanks, Roger.
What Roger doesn’t seem to get is: snitching doesn’t win you freedom points. Even if the guards liked him—which they don’t—he’s not getting out any sooner.
These are just a few of the many unforgettable personalities I encounter here at Cumberland. The diversity of people and stories is something I never expected. Every day brings a new character, a new lesson, and sometimes, a memory you’ll never quite unsee.
Thanks for reading—and stay tuned for more.
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