This week was kind of a bittersweet one. It started with one of my good friends — and my cube mate — getting transferred to the other building. He’s the same guy who burned himself making me a pizza for my birthday (I mentioned him in a previous post). He’s a real one. But sometimes friends do stupid things, and this week, one mistake ended up costing him a lot.
If you read my last post, you know we were locked down because a package was found near the track and a guard almost got hit by a fleeing car. That incident set off a domino effect of chaos.
Now, about the ketchup.
On Saturday, they raided our wing — probably as retaliation for the whole package fiasco. During the search, they went digging through the ceiling and found a bunch of rags that looked like they were soaked in blood. Panic mode activated. They took pictures, rushed them to medical for testing, and immediately brought in a team of guards from the medium-security side. Everyone in our dorm had to strip down while they inspected us for cuts, bruises, or any sign someone had been seriously hurt.They even pulled me aside because I had a tiny cut on my wrist. The whole place was buzzing with rumors — people were saying maybe someone got jumped up there, or fell, or bled out while hiding contraband. It got intense fast.But here’s the kicker: medical came back and confirmed that it wasn’t blood. It was ketchup. Just regular, cafeteria-issued ketchup. The guards looked completely embarrassed. All that drama, all those strip searches, and the full-on panic response — over some condiment. You’ve gotta laugh. I still don’t know how ketchup rags ended up in the ceiling, but at this point, nothing surprises me.
Things settled down briefly, and on Monday they opened the yard again. But Tuesday morning at 5:30, they launched a full-blown raid. About 20 guards from the medium came in, woke us up, patted everyone down, and marched us to the gym. Then they tore through our cubes like a tornado. Lockers dumped out, beds ripped apart, clothes and commissary tossed everywhere. They even dug their fingers into our peanut butter and left coffee grounds all over our clothes. My cube was hit the worst — it took over three hours just to clean it all up, not counting the sweeping and mopping. I’m still missing a few pieces of clothing. It was a disaster.
And all of this leads to how my friend ended up being moved.
It started last week during a visit — the first one he’s had in a long time. He got to see his kids and was feeling good. But he made a dumb decision and accepted some cash from them, thinking he’d use it on the vending machines during the week. He’s known for making cheesecakes in here — usually Reese’s or Snickers, since that’s all we can get from commissary — but he wanted to switch it up and use vending machine candy bars like Take 5 or Fast Break to create some new flavors and sell them for a premium.While they were searching everyone for cuts during the ketchup incident, they checked him too. He lifted his pant leg, and the cash fell out — he had completely forgotten it was in there. For those who don’t know, cash in prison is a huge no-no. Normally that would mean an automatic trip to the SHU. But the guards never called him down to write up an incident report. After 72 hours, we thought he was in the clear.Side note: I think they skipped writing him up because they were embarrassed about going full lockdown over ketchup and didn’t want it officially documented.
Unfortunately, a few months back, my friend had another issue and was forced to sign a paper with RDAP saying that one more infraction would get him kicked out. So even though he never officially got “written up,” RDAP found out about the cash and booted him from the program. On Thursday, they told him he was out of RDAP and had to move back to the non-RDAP dorm. And because he’s no longer in the program, he won’t get credit for it — meaning he’ll be doing an extra year in prison.I’m honestly heartbroken for him. It was a dumb mistake, but he’s a good guy. If you’re lucky enough to be his friend, he always has your back. I’ll still see him around the compound, but I’ll miss him being my cube mate. He’s down right now, but I know he’ll get through this.
Quick update from last week — my friend Austin is still in the SHU. They know he didn’t send the emails to staff, but they say they won’t release him until the real person confesses. And let’s be real — the kind of guy who hides behind someone else’s name to send nasty messages isn’t exactly the “confession” type. So Austin may be in there for a while.
On a lighter note, it’s been too hot for long runs this week, so I decided to test my speed instead. I clocked a mile at 7 minutes and 31 seconds — which is pretty solid for me.
Anyway, that’s the latest from here. Stay safe — and stay legal — out there.
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