Another exciting week here at Cumberland Prison Camp.
First, some context — I’ve mentioned before that our mattresses are terrible. We sleep on a steel slab with about two inches of foam they call a “mattress.” It’s rough. So, being resourceful inmates, we find ways to make it better. Most of us collect extra blankets left behind by guys who’ve gone home, using them for padding. Over time, those extras pile up — a few hundred blankets tucked around the units.
Last Friday, around 11 a.m., everyone went to chow. I stayed back, exhausted from a brutal workout and trying to grab some sleep. Next thing I know, I hear yelling — officers ordering everyone out. I stumbled up, half-asleep, and was the last one to leave. They marched us all to the gym.
By the time I got there, everyone already knew what was happening: a shakedown. For those who don’t know, that’s when they clear out the dorms, bring in a swarm of officers, and tear through our stuff looking for contraband. Usually, it’s punishment for something — and the cleanup afterward is always a nightmare.
We sat in the gym for about two hours, dreading what we’d find when we went back. Then things got weird. One guy suddenly ran out the back door, peed on the ground (even though there are bathrooms inside), and ran back in. Five minutes later, guards rushed in, patted him down, and found a phone and some Suboxone — a popular prison drug. Not the smartest move.
Here’s where it got funny: usually during a shakedown, they pat us down and scan us with metal detectors as we leave the dorms. For some reason, they didn’t this time. So a lot of guys were sitting in the gym with phones and vapes on them, sweating bullets. When it was time to head back, the guards wheeled in a mobile metal detector and set it up at the exit. The sound that followed was hilarious — clink, bang, clack — as everyone with contraband dropped it under the bleachers. The guards just laughed and picked it all up afterward.
When we finally got back to our dorm, it was a mixed bag. The place was trashed, but not as bad as last time — most stuff stayed in lockers. The bad news? All our extra blankets and pillows were gone. It was a blanket raid. They left us each with one sheet, one blanket, one pillow, and one pillowcase. Not only is it freezing at night now, but we’ve lost all that extra padding we used for comfort.
So yeah — the last few nights have been cold and hard, literally. I keep telling myself: just six more weeks. I’ll make it.
On the bright side, workouts are going great. I’ve upped my Saturday push-ups to 1,100, added an extra round on Wednesdays, and hit six consecutive pull-ups this week. My goal is ten before I go home — and I’m getting closer.Stay safe and legal out there.
—Larry
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